'The Vampire Diaries' Season 3: Damon Says…

One of the reasons (besides the hot cast) that TVD is such a huge hit is the fast-paced, witty dialogue.  The writers have managed to amalgamate the perfect balance of suspense, romance, drama, and dialogue that has many fans hooked.

Enter Damon Salvatore.  Hot.  Sexy. Bad ass. Vampire.  Along with his body language, and excellent facial expressions, Damon’s quick comebacks, witty dialogue, and snarky comments has made him one entertaining character to watch every episode.  Nobody does snarky comments like Damon.

Despite the suspense, and action that has been consistent throughout Season 3 of TVD, there’s also been plenty of humor and light-hearted bantering between the cast.  Here’s a list of a few memorable quotes from the Snark King himself:

“You should learn to knock.  What if I was … indecent?”

“Where he’s (Stefan) binge drinking on the country folk.”

“We went through this, Elena.  Stefan’s gone and I don’t mean geographically.”

“What’s your big plan, Elena?  Huh? You want to walk through a camp full of werewolves, roast a marshmallow, and wait for Stefan to stop by?”

“It came to me in a dream. I was naked. You would have loved it.”

“There used to be an all-girls high school around the corner but it shut down for attendance issues. Weird.”

“Stefan was a cocky Ripper douche, but I could avoid him and still indulge in a few Daisy Buchanans of my own.” 

“She’s (Elena) not going anywhere until she has you checked into Vampire Rehab and on the mend.  Trust me, I’ve tried.”

“I knew your old family. They made sucky chili.”

“We need him (Michael) to kill Klaus so I can de-ripperfy Stefan before he destroys my house.”

“You know Stefan. Journaling. Reading. Shaping his hair.”

“You’re right. I didn’t have to kill you. I do a lot of things I don’t have to do.”

“What are you talking about?  It’s family day at Vampire rehab.  I’m just paying a visit to my baby brother.”

“I went behind your back. I freed Stefan. And you know what? It backfired. He’s an even bigger dick than ever. It’s just, now, he’s a dick that’s on our side.”

“Take it from me, strange is bad, dead is worse.”

“Cute. Blonde bombshell. Psycho. Shouldn’t be too hard to find.”

“You go after Klaus, you’re gonna have to be cut throat and devious. And I’m so much better at that than you.”

“I can’t drink all this by myself. I mean, I can. But then someone is getting naked.”

“I guess I could rip out Dr. False Accusation’s throat.”

“Dear Diary, a chipmunk asked me my name today. I told him it was Joe. That lie will haunt me forever.”

“I was hoping we could hang.  A little brother bonding.  I know we don’t actually hang out.  We team up, we join forces, we activate our wonder twin powers.”

“Because we’re vampires, Elena. We need human blood to survive. We’re predators, not puppies.”

“Ah, yes.  Back when you two were in love and it was all rainbows and unicorns.”

“Well, you know what they say.  Two’s a company.  Three’s a party.”

“Oh, come on.  Slow down, brother. Whoa. Control, remember? Doesn’t matter whether its blondes or blood bags, the same principles apply.”

“Now, unless you’re interested in a Sage/Rebekah sex sandwich, I suggest you make yourself scarce.”

“Beefcake holds bombshell.  I come up from behind her, grab her arms like this.”

“I gotta admit, even for me, it’s a little kinky.”

“Are you telling me that your vampire-hating alter ego has a stake that can kill an entire line of vampires, possibly mine?”

You got to admit, this vamp has some of the best lines in Television!

Have I left out one of your favorite quotes?  If so, please drop a comment.