"The Bachelorette" 9.07 Starts Receiving Confessions of Love

This week they are in the island of Mediera. It’s absolutely gorgeous and “made for love.” Do they ever go somewhere that isn’t perfect for falling in love? This week there are three one on ones and a two on one. Which two guys get the unlucky two on one?

Catherine, Jackie, and Lesley from Sean Lowe’s season of the Bachelor are there to help Desiree make some decisions, but they don’t really help with anything. There always has to be at least one of these annoying returnee moments per season, so at least we’ve got it out of the way. Unfortunately, not only do we get to see them ask Des rapid fire questions about all the men, but we also get a discussion about Sean. It would be much less awkward if Catherine didn’t talk about Sean looking out for Desiree, seeing as they dated too. One interesting moment was when Desiree changed her previous best kiss answer from Zak and Brooks to Drew. A new favourite of hers?

Now that the ridiculous giggly girl chat is over, we can move on to the dates! The first one on one of the week is with Brooks. They go for a bit of a drive through the hills and up above the clouds. After some stilted conversation they’re having a no-food picnic to discuss their relationship. Brooks doesn’t really know what his life after the show will look like, but he thinks Des would fit in well. Really? They seem VERY boring with almost no chemistry. That night they talk about family because the hometown dates are approaching. Des comes up with new adjectives, that are really verbs and nouns, between like and love: stepping, skipping, running, and finish line. Where are Des and Brooks on that line? Des says she’s getting into a run and Brooks looks all shocked, he definitely isn’t as far along emotionally. It really isn’t a good sign for Des, if Brooks is already realizing he isn’t as attached, but he ends up saying he’d love for her to meet his family next week anyway. Maybe if there were sparks other than just in the fireworks I would have been happier.

Chris gets the second one on one with Desiree and they get to explore on a private yacht. After staring lovingly at each other and getting a sensual sunscreen massage from Chris, Des is much more smiley than she was with Brooks. They go for a picnic on a beautiful, flowery field and they have a much easier flow in their conversation. The biggest moment was when I noticed they were actually eating at this picnic. The first time people have been eating all season! This definitely means good things for Chris. After some cute banter Chris pulls out a bottle and says they’ll be writing a poem together to chuck into the ocean. If we could ever have an episode with Chris sans poetry I’d be very surprised. As long as Des likes the poems it shouldn’t be a problem though. At dinner they get into discussions about family and how their opinions are important to him. Does that mean there’ll be some drama when she means the whole clan? Suddenly he’s antsy and sweating as he pulls out another poem and uses that to tell her he loves her. Although he pulled out two poems on one date, it was a really cute way to do that love confession. If it weren’t for Brooks being so uncertain, I’d say this was the perfect time to start the confessions. He is so obviously smitten with her, and I’m terrified about what will happen if he doesn’t get chosen at the end. I’ve really started to love this guy!

Michael’s one on one was one of the most boring dates of the season. I didn’t realize she even had a relationship with him and during their Madiera-exploration date it became apparent that they didn’t. All Des can say it “that’s cool” a few times before he eats something weird and they sit somewhere private for lunch. They kiss once or twice (was that Michael’s first of the season?), go down a hill in a toboggan type thing, and talk about family. In his video diary he tells us how he’s falling in love with her, and during dinner he tries to open up. There are a few tears and he tells her about how much he likes her, but she never seems that into it. I don’t see why she kept him over Juan Pablo or Kasey last week, but that’s just me.

Zak and Drew show up for their two on one date as Desiree is going around a go kart track. They all head out together for a few playful rounds before she steps out to let them have a race to prove themselves. She said she had something for the winner, but when Zak won all he got was the first one on one time. That wasn’t a surprise like she said, how disappointing. During Zak’s time with Des he pulls out some paintings he made for her. They aren’t that good, but I love that he didn’t care and just made them show his emotion. He’s great at being really goofy around Des in a way that shows he cares. He tells the cameras that he wants to open up and say he’s falling in love with her but doesn’t because it would be oh so hard for her to compose herself around Drew later. Unfortunately, his honouring of the bro-code wasn’t returned by Drew. They talk for a bit about family until he confesses he loves her. It isn’t anything bad about Drew, but I’m just not a fan of him. Clearly Des is interested, but I just don’t see the connection she has with Chris. Although Zak is so in love and expected to get the rose, Drew ended up getting it for his confession.

Before the rose ceremony, Desiree and Chris Harrison sit down for a chat. Is this going to happen before each new rose ceremony? I have no problem if it is, I’d just like to prepare myself for seeing the wonderful Harrison. During their chat, Des reveals something much bigger than any of the guy’s confessions: she’s fallen in love with Brooks. Doesn’t she know she isn’t supposed to say that until the proposal? I’m just upset for Chris during this, but when Harrison asks if that means the show is over she says that Chris’ confession made her see such a life with him that she’s falling for Chris as well! But was that just something to keep the audience at home guessing? Either way, she plans to continue the show and sends Michael home during the rose ceremony.

Next episode, Chris’ dad gives Desiree a weird massage and her brother shows up to check out each of her guys. Hometowns are always one of the best episodes because families are good at being crazy. Do you remember the time the mother said a suicidal crow hitting her car was a good omen? Crazy bird family girl left that episode, good times!

I live tweet each episode @reviewsbylauren so be sure to follow me, and watch next Monday at 8pm on ABC!