Which of the Amazon pilots are worth checking out?

Ok so I was going to compile a list of the Top 5 pilots offered by Amazon unfortunately that turned out to be impossible because they didn’t have 5 worth watching.  Hey come on don’t fret it’s not all bad news there are a few that are worth checking out and because I don’t want you to have to tread through that minefield all by yourself I went a head and saw them for you.  No, no thanks are necessary.  Although they are welcome.

First up on our list is Alpha House starring John Goodman, Mark Consuelos, Clark Johnson, and Matt Mallory and a group of, yes, House Republicans who are just so happening to share a house that frankly the guys from Delta Tau Chi would be proud of.  Now I am pretty much a fan of anything John Goodman is associated with because he’s freaking awesome, but it does help that Alpha House is pretty damn funny.  Seriously it’s worth watching for the Say No to Sodomy Award alone.  Trust me it is.

Betas starring Joe Dinicol, Karan Soni, Jonathan C. Daly, and Charlie Saxton (don’t worry if you don’t know who they are I had to iMDB them too so you are not alone) is about 4 guys who are trying to make it big in the world of algorithm’s and the Silicon Valley.  Did you just nod off there for a second?  Well wake up because this show believe it or not was actually pretty good and pretty funny with most of the credit going to Jonathan C. Daly who plays Hobbes.   If he had a friend named Calvin this show would be perfect without saying one damn word.  Although a lot of the techno jargon went completely over my head…I’m lucky I can work my computer, they didn’t lay it on so thick that you felt you needed Charlie Epps to explain it to you.

Onion News Empire starring William Sadler, Jeffrey Tambor, Chris Masterson, Cheyenne Jackson, and Aja Naomi King is The Newsroom meets Mad TV but with less bodily function gags.  There are some shows that you watch for the acting alone and this would be one of those shows.  Because without the grade A work provided here by Sadler, Tambor, and King I’m not all that sure I would stick around for more than a few episodes.  The thing about satire is that if not done exactly right it runs the risk of becoming stale and cheap so it will be interesting to see if they can maintain the same comedic forward motion.

Dark Minions looks and feels a lot like Archer and to be honest it felt a little like a watered down version of of 1981’s Heavy Metal.  Plus it was really hard to not think of Kripke whenever I heard John Ross Bowie voice.  But that’s probably just me.  Dark Minions centers around Mel and Andy, voiced by Bowie and Kevin Sussman, two slackers who somehow manage to secure jobs on an intergalatic warship.  Nothing about the pilot really screamed Watch Me and even though it’s only been about an hour since I viewed it I don’t really remember too much about what happened. Which isn’t what you want when you want people to you know….tune in again.  Of course that doesn’t mean I won’t.  It’s got Kripke and Stuart for frak’s sake.

I kid you not the funniest scene in the whole freaking pilot was the first oh I don’t know minute maybe minute and a half between two office workers played by Rachel Cannon and Tim Bagley.  Now I don’t want to spoil anything for anyone but considering it is called Zombieland if you were to assume that these two didn’t make it past those first couple of minutes well let’s just say that you wouldn’t be making an ass out of yourself.  If you are looking for mediocrity then this is the show for you.

Browsers a show about a group of interns working and singing at a news website.  Yes, yes I did say singing.  It is no exaggeration when I say by the end of the pilot I wanted to smack the guy that came up with the concept of musicals.   If you’re looking for more information regarding the pilot sorry I don’t have anything for you because you see I was too busy wishing that my eardrums had been gouged out before watching Browsers.

Which brings us to the last Amazon pilot I was able to view.  Sorry Supanatural but thanks to some technical issue I wasn’t able to view it so if there is anyone out there that’s seen it let me know how it is worth a viewing.   Those Who Can’t really should have been titled For The Love Of All That Is Decent Do Not Watch This Show.  I know it’s a tad on the long side but it’s fitting.  Bad acting.  Bad writing.  Just bad.  Don’t bother.  Really.  I mean it, don’t.