‘Riverdale’ 4×03 recap: Betty takes down The Farm in the weirdest way possible

Just when you think Riverdale couldn’t get anymore ridiculous, the show wrapped up its Farm storyline in the craziest and weirdest way possible.

In case you missed it, here’s a recap of what went down in “Dog Day Afternoon”.

The Farm finally goes down

We’ve got to kick things off by talking about the craziest and weirdest storyline the show has ever done. The FBI knows where Edgar is staying but Charles cautions Betty to wait and go approach things properly. That all changes when Betty gets a phone call from Edgar. Viewers can tell he’s lost his mind, you know, the normal mental state of a dude leading a cult and harvesting organs.

Edgar wants $250,000, passports for his followers, food, water and a bus in the next five hours. Because a teenager can totally get all of that together, right? Only in Riverdale. Edgar calls Betty again and the FBI wants her to stall. Edgar says he’ll release a hostage and sends out Polly with a bomb strapped to her chest.

Betty gets to work cutting the wire, and I can’t quite get past that fact. She’s in a room full of FBI agents and they all think the freaking teenager is the right person to cut the wire to a bomb? This show, y’all. Betty cuts the wrong wire, but she uses the bobby pin that she oh-so- conveniently has to save Polly just in time.

So after saving everyone from death, Betty goes to Edgar’s hideout to deliver his demands. Of course, he doesn’t go quietly by capturing Betty and knocking her out. Once she wakes up, Betty finds her mother alive, who explains that Edgar plans to get away on his rocket. Yes, Edgar apparently BUILT A FREAKING ROCKET. And as Alice goes to stop him, we actually see him trying to escape on it. It’s so stupid that it’s hilarious. Alice ultimately shoots Edgar and kills him. So that’s over.

Jughead meets his rival

Betty’s other half was busy getting adjusted to his life at his new school. Jughead’s new school is pretty much how you’d expect it to be, complete with a rich asshole kid who thinks he can get what he wants. In class, Jughead goes head to head with that rich asshole Bret as they put down each other’s work and lifestyles.

Moose is also there and its revealed he’s bisexual. He wanted to have a low profile but Bret reveals to everyone in the school paper that Moose’s dad impersonated the Gargoyle King. So much for a fresh start.

Episode Notes

• Elsewhere in the hour, Toni hires a caretaker to look after Cheryl’s grandmother. However, Toni finally meets Jason Blossom as she catches Cheryl talking to his dead corpse and sewing it up after A RAT CAME OUT OF HIS STOMACH. Toni just stands there, looking on in shock. Can you imagine what’s she’s thinking? Probably like, “my girl is crazy.”
• Apparently, Hiram can come and go from prison because, well, he owns it. Seriously, what the hell does FP do all day?

What did you think of the episode? Let me know in the comments below!

Riverdale airs Wednesdays at 8/7c on The CW.