Stitchers Chat


ABC Family’s new sci-fi drama Stitchers is my new favorite show. How exactly did that happen? Simple. Everything. From its inception, to casting, to writing (ESPECIALLY the writing), is damn near amazing. The actors are believable and the writers are shoving near flawless dialogue in our faces.

Quick-witted interchange, snappy comebacks, character defining lines, and pervasive use of Allison Scagliotti (she will always be a plus in my column) is what Stitchers has over other new summer shows.

But more than that, the relationships the writers are building between the characters are thought provokingly, insatiable, and delightfully nerdy; I can’t get enough.

Here are my favorite lines so far (some spoilers ahead):

Kirsten (Emma Ishta)

“My heart weeps for you.”

“You’re the detective. Detect.”

“The reason I didn’t react when I saw Ed in the morgue is because the moment I saw him, it was as if he had been dead forever. The moment I saw him, the knowledge of him being dead was instantly familiar. That’s temporal dysplasia.”

“You’re like Gollum. You’ve been living in your cave so long you’ve forgotten how to talk to the rest of us hobbits.”

“I’m the smartest person in my program.”

“You’re quite the tool.”

“This is the second corpse I’ve seen today.”

“Check out the testicles on Cameron.”

“When I was a little girl, I had to learn how to identify emotions by flash cards of human faces. But this time I felt them, and they were real. Now I know what grief feels like. Now I know what anger feels like. I might even know what love feels like. I’m not a fan. I’m out.”

“There’s nothing else to see. The drugs distorted everything. And these Teen titans don’t have a good idea between the two of them.”


Cameron (Kyle Harris)

“What’s your problem that makes it that you don’t have any  friends?”

“You ever been diagnosed? You may be clinical.”

“A simple Tolkien reference, and I’m supposed to be impressed? Name all the actors who played Doctor Who since 1963, and maybe you’ll get a reaction out of me.”

“Oh, so in your little circle you’re the smartest? So what does that make you? Queen of the estupidos?”

“Probably not your fault. Probably.”

“He died of explosion—explosive concussion if you want to get all technical, and I know you do.”

“Captains log, Star date 2015.”

“Look, I don’t tell you how to be an emotionally vacant, relationshiply void young woman, you don’t tell me how to run my lab.”

“For the love of Zod.”

“A word of advice. Next time you steal someone’s technology, make sure their boyfriend wasn’t a bomb-making genius.”

“Holy big freaking bomb, Batman.”


Maggie (Salli Richardson-Whitfield)

“The agency has people who handle the field work. Unsocialized nerds and girls in cat suits need not apply.”


Linus (Ritesh Rajan)

“Stitch happens.”


“I take Zumba!”



Camille (Allison Scagliotti)

“The agency doesn’t control the LA dance scene. Do they?”

“I’ll help translate from rave to noob for you”

“You know I actually hadn’t mentioned that to anybody yet, so, that one’s on you.”
“They paid all my expenses and my grad school cost if I spied on you.”


—All lines are taken from Episodes 1 & 2—

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