'The Bachelorette' 9.02 Has A Fake Wedding, Rapping, And Daddy Drama

This week was the start of the dates which brings first kisses, angry male drama, rose competition, and awkward/hilarious group dates. Desiree has a big group of men to choose from and both of her 1on1’s were with men I wasn’t too fond of in the premiere episode. My favourites began as Zak W, Drew, and Juan Pablo and had a few changes this week. Although Drew and Juan Pablo weren’t important on this episode they’re still on the list, but Zak W came out far in front showing that he had the depth that I predicted. What changed is the new addition of Brandon, and possibly Mikey and Brooks. Six favourites? Why not!

Des chose Brooks for her first 1on1 of the season which hints that he might be a strong player this season. They were playful at the beginning while prepping for their fake wedding. She was trying on beautiful wedding dresses and he was putting on goofy suits. Bright green or powder blue? Thankfully he ended up in a classic black tux. Crowds swarmed them as they stuffed cake into each others faces while in their wedding getup, and then made off for the sunset and the Hollywood sign. It’s the 90th anniversary of the sign (cough, obligatory mention, cough) so they get to sit on one of the L’s and look out at Los Angeles as they share their first kiss. How romantic! Later, they have the same date Kalon and Lindzi shared during last summer’s Bachelor Pad as they drive through a sketchy LA neighbourhood before “happening” on a bridge, romantic dinner, and private concert. At least they didn’t seem to notice the similarities as they danced, kissed, and laughed the night away.

Next, Desiree invited some of the men on a group date to participate in a rap video with Soulja Boy called For The Right Reasons. Dan, Juan Pablo, Zack K, Will, Brian, Kasey, Drew, James, Mikey T, Zak W, Nick, Michael G, Brandon, and Ben were all on the date. Each man was on the spot to create a three or four line rap at the beginning which had everyone laughing at how bad they were. Those with the best auditions were chosen to rap in the video (Ben, Brandon, James, and Michael G) while everyone else were backup dancers. Ben went first and was heckled by Mickey T on a microphone. I like Mickey, he seems to be having fun. James was bad enough for Soulja Boy to walk away, but Michael G was even worse. Then, there was Brandon. He was put into this unfortunate thong type outfit and rap about having a tattoo on his man parts before jiggling them in Des’ face. After messing up a bunch of times and finally psyching himself up for it, he came out as a really fun contestant on the show. No matter how ridiculous of an outfit he’s forced into he’s smiling, laughing, and making fun of himself. That’s the kind of person Des seems to be looking for.

Later, Brandon was able to get some good one on one time with Desiree which I thought was sure to get him the rose. Zak W also put in a wonderful one on one time, giving Des an antique journal that had yet to be written in so she can document their blossoming love. He was sweet, heartfelt, and looking to the future. I love that he showed some depth that was clearly not there when he made his first appearance as the Ab Man. Des seemed to appreciate it as well, but unfortunately neither Brandon nor Zak W got the group date rose because Ben stole the show with his one on one time where he got his first kiss.

Desiree decided to take Bryden out on a road trip for her second 1on1 date of the episode. He’s never been to California so she wanted to show him around. After picking up snacks (yay for popcorn?) they went to the beach where they drew hearts in the sand, went inland to pick oranges, and then made a final stop for dinner and a dip in the hot tub. We need at least one water/half naked scene an episode right? Unfortunately, it was all very dull. I don’t remember anything they said, and nothing they did stood out as being cute but she still gave him the rose. While in the hot tub they awkwardly looked at each other and commented on how they had fun multiple times before Des told him to “just kiss her already.” Was that because she felt awkward, or because she really wanted him to kiss her? I doubt it was the latter and I don’t expect him to stay for long.

Cocktail parties are always intense. Men are vying for time with Des before the rose ceremony where she sends people home. This time got a little more dramatic when Ben stole Des away from Mike even though he already had the rose. Although Mikey T wasn’t personally affected, I love that all the other men stood up against Ben and told him off. Of course he still had the rose, but at least they’re making the stand early on. The rose ceremony was nerve wracking this week as well. She waited so long to call Zak and Brandon, my favourites, that it had me worried she wouldn’t choose them at all. Zak looked concerned until he was given a rose halfway in, and then Brandon looked downright devastated until she picked him last. I can’t say I’m too upset though, at least they’re both through! In the end high-fiving Will, sign spinning Robert, and forgettable Nick left.

Next week looks to be a dramatic episode! Someone’s girlfriend shows up, upset that they’re cheating on her by going on this show. The dramatic (exciting?) news is that they’re making it seem like Ben is the cheater, so maybe he’ll be off before Des can get too attached to the smarmy politician-lookalike. I live tweet each episode, so follow me @reviewsbylauren to join the chat!

[polldaddy poll=7153583]