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On The Voice: What in the What?

I was afraid this was going to happen. America, we need to talk!

This show is called The Voice. Not The Cute Boy or The Sad Story Singers. It’s called The Voice because we’re supposed to listen to the singing and vote for the best singers. Do you catch what I’m throwing here? I don’t know what show America was watching on Monday but they somehow managed to vote through several of the worst performances in recent memory and let two of the most talented vocalists fall to the bottom two. I can’t!

Let’s begin with the easy stuff.

First, two to safety tonight were pretty easy given that neither of them have stumbled even once. Adam Wakefield and Alisan Porter were sent to safety immediately after the Gwen Stefani performance of Misery in which, I’m just guessing, she was referring to her recently ended marriage.

Because most of the result shows are pretty boring, I’ll just cruise through the saves and skip the sometimes cheeseball group numbers and the uber-awkward interview questions from Carson.

Next to safety was Bryan Bautista, who completely bombed 90% of his performance last night. Bryan has been solid up until now so we’ll blame this one glitch on Christina for not encouraging him to pick a song that he could actually sing and that people would want to buy.

Daniel Passino was safe next and I threw my first shoe. His performance on Monday was schtick-filled, loungey-ness and completely lacked anything that I like. Apparently there is something here that the rest of America finds entertaining. Stop!

Next to safety was Shalyah Fearing, no brainer here. Girl slayed last night.

Another surprise of the night was Paxton Ingram earning the next spot. This wasn’t a surprise for me because I actually like Paxton and think he could easily headline a new boy band. Others in the Twittersphere think differently. I’m glad he got another week to earn few fans.

Laith Al-Saadi wasn’t a big surprise and neither was Hannah Huston who has crept right up to my top three.

Christina’s save, Nick Hagelin snagged the next ticket to safety and I threw my other shoe and almost my cat. What on earth are you people hearing that I’m not? His performance last night was really bad, not just sort of bad. I get it that he’s a nice guy but…come on!

Finally, Mary Sarah grabbed the last seat on the safety bus which left us with Owen Danoff and Emily Keener as our bottom two. I get it that some people might not dig Emily’s whole throwback vibe and use excuses like not being current but she is interesting and different and did an amazing job last night. Same with Owen, other than the last night part. He didn’t do great last night but mostly because Adam had him flinging around the stage like a clown. His vocals were still technically on point, even if his antics weren’t. Say no next time Owen!

Anyway, save your bacon songs went ok. Emily sang Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain and Owen sang Lego House. I actually thought Emily did a better job on her save song but I love Owen and pegged him as a final four so I was glad to see him get the dreaded #VoiceSave in which it only matters what the East Coast thinks.

I’m angry America. Let’s try to do better next week.

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