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The Breaking Dead – The Walking Dead vs Breaking Bad

Imagine if The Walking Dead and Breaking Bad collided. Imagine if walkers infiltrated New Mexico or if meth dealers took over post-apocalyptic Georgia. Instead of walkers going after humans, would they be going after meth? Would Jesse and Walter have to put their business on hold to fight off the undead?

Imagine the scene. Daryl, Rick, Carl and the others are spending another day scavenging for food and looking out for walkers who are slowly descending on the nearby area. Suddenly an RV comes screeching up loudly at the side of the road, sending dust everywhere and attracting the attention of the walkers. Trees rustle and branches break. The walkers are coming! They’ve heard the noise from the RV!

Jesse Pinkman and Walter White get out of the RV. Walter looks confused, Jesse looks terrified but also slightly excited.

Daryl and Rick look apprehensive; who are these strangers? How do they know they’re not walkers? Or even fellow, dangerous humans? They aim their guns and get ready to shoot. After some begging and explaining, Jesse and Walter tell their story;

Walter was an ex high school teacher and Jesse was a part-time dealer. They both decided to make meth to help raise money for Walter’s family after he found out he had cancer.

It was another normal day. They both went to work, as always. They were busy in their lab making their usual batch. Suddenly there was weird noises outside their door. Banging; it sounded like someone was trying to break in!

Goddamn, just another moron who thinks he’s been sold less than he paid for. Jesse goes to deal with him, and loudly tells the guy on the other side of the door to “get lost.”

The guy keeps banging on the door. “Goddamnit, Jesse, get the guy to leave already!” Jesse opens the door, ready to whack the guy to teach him a lesson; “don’t mess with me, bitch.”

Instead of your average run of the mill drug user, the guy looks…different. Almost not human. Jesus, what kind of drugs has this guy been taking? Jesse goes to slam the door in his face, but the … man(?) reaches for his arm, trying to tear a chunk out of his flesh. Jesse jumps back; startled. He looks over at Walt, who’s heard the commotion and has come over to see what the hell is going on. He’s startled too. “Fight the guy, Jesse! Goddamnit, get the guy out of here!”

After a long, violent struggle, Walt finally kills the… not human thing … by smashing a metal pipe over its head, so hard that pipe ends up embedded in the… thing’s head.

Terrified, the two run out of the lab, avoiding more… thing’s on the run back to the RV. They drive back to Walt’s house, trying to work out what the hell is happening. As they pull up to his driveway, the houses in the street are empty. Alarms are blaring, doors are open, some are torn off the hinges. There’s what looks like blood splattered all over the street, and on the doors and windows of the houses. It looks like there’s been an apocalypse! What the hell is going on?

Jesse and Walt search Walt’s house, and find no sign of his wife, Skyler, teenage son Walt Jr and young daughter Holly. No signs whatsoever, and the house looks like it’s been ransacked. ‘What the eff?’ says Jesse. Walt tells him to shut up, and calls his wife. No answer. He tries Walt Jr too, also with no answer.

There’s banging at the door, and the sound of glass breaking. Crap! The things are coming in the house! Jesse sneaks a look outside, and oh my god! There are loads of those things everywhere!

He panics, and runs back out to the RV, fighting off attempts to steal his limbs and flesh. He screams to Jesse that they have to get the hell out of here, and “NOW!”

Walt turns to see a thing slowly dragging its decaying remains towards him. Scared, he backs away, and runs out the door to the RV. He jumps in the driver’s seat, and without thinking, slams his foot on the pedal and quickly zooms the hell out of there.

They drive for what feels like years. Those things, they’re everywhere! EVERYWHERE. They’ve not seen a single human being since they’ve been on the road. Everything looks run down and post apocalyptic. They had a few near-misses with those things, and almost ended up being attacked.

1,525 miles later, they end up in Atlanta, Georgia. Quite a distance away from Albuquerque, New Mexico. Those things are still everywhere; can’t they get away from them?! They spot a prison, or what looks like a prison, in the near distance. “Eff it, let’s go there” Jesse thinks. “Surely those creepy things can’t get us in there.”

Suddenly, a bunch of those creepy things surround the RV. They’re banging on the door; crap, they’re gonna get in! They’re gonna smash the door down! Jesse steps on the gas and the RV shoots towards the possible prison. They both hear the noise of skulls cracking and bones breaking; well, less creepy things to deal with, right?

The RV shoots towards the prison, followed by creepy undead things. They’re coming from every single direction, left, right, out from the trees, out from the grass. Goddamn! No escape! They’re screwed!

Two men with guns suddenly appear, aiming them right at Jesse and Walt. “Don’t shoot! We’re human, we swear! We’ve been followed by those creepy freaks the whole way!” After narrowly avoiding being attacked by those creepy freaks, they’re let into the prison. Guns pressed against their heads, they’re pushed into the prison, coming to a stop in a tiny cell.

Eventually, they’re told the story. Those creepy freaks, are actually walkers. The undead. There was an apocalypse a while ago, and now the walkers roam around the United States, looking for humans to kill and consume their insides.
They’re lucky to be alive.

What caused the apocalypse? Surely something must’ve happened. People don’t suddenly turn into walkers and start killing humans for no reason. Rick Grimes, a former cop, explains that nobody knows why this has happened. Daryl Dixon pipes up, saying he heard it started “‘because some drug dealer in another state made a bad batch and sold it to the wrong person. It ended up in the wrong hands and spread from person to person”.’

“Nah that’s not it, it couldn’t have happened that way”, thinks Rick.

“Who made the batch?”

“Dunno, some blue meth stuff by a guy in New Mexico. Goes by the name Pinkman or something”, says Daryl.

Jesse looks up, terrified. Did he start the apocalypse? Is he responsible for the chaos and bloodshed that has been happening all over the United States?

“What happened to this Pinkman guy? Did they catch him?”

“Nah, not yet. He’s still out there. I swear though, if I see this guy, he’s dead. I’m gonna kick the eff out of this stupid punk and feed his intestines to the walkers. Slow painful death is what that punk deserves.”

“Enough about this waste of space Pinkman guy. Tell me about you. What’s your story?”

Oh.

Sh*t.

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