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True Blood – F*ck The Pain Away – Recap

This episode of True Blood managed to tug at my already emotional heartstrings while simultaneously making me nervous as hell for all of my favorite characters. I suppose the show isn’t doing its job unless I’m on the edge of my seat terrified.

Here is our recap of tonight’s new episode of True Blood: “F*ck The Pain Away.”

Warlow. Warwho?

The episode kicks off literally right where it left off. Sookie has Warlow in quite the compromising position with her Faerie ball of light ready to kick his ass. Instead of just admitting to being the evil villain I’m assuming he is, Warlow comes out of left field with his own explanation: I love you Sookie Stackhouse. Say what? Since when?

Well, for hundreds and hundreds of years apparently. I’m having a very hard time focusing on anything he’s saying in this scene because Anna Paquin is still in her underwear and her post baby body is absolutely fantastic. Damn. Warlow claims that Sookie’s parents were trying to kill her and that he was trying to save her so they could be together. I’m not even surprised at this point. All vampires after Sookie are loony. But more on that later. Billith has showed up and commanded Warlow, as his maker, to leave Sookie’s house. You read that right.

She’s So High

Over at Billith’s, Jessica is still absolutely distraught from murdering Andy’s Faerie babies. To add to her misery, she’s incredibly high from all the faerie blood. It’s a weird combination. Andy comes in, guns blazing, and discovers his daughters. I feel so bad for him. One girl is still alive and he is able to save her with a vile of vampire blood found at the police station. Back at home, Holly convinces him to stay behind and cry it out on the couch rather than go on a suicide mission against Vampire Bill. While heartbreaking, I’m okay with this. I didn’t want Andy to kill himself.

Don’t You Dare

But someone else wants to. Kill themselves that is. Terry is unable to live with his guilt and summons one of his old war buddies to kill him. He asks for a few days to get his affairs in order and then it’s up to his friend. He doesn’t want to know it’s coming. Don’t you dare do that to Arlene!

In other plot news that no one really cares about, the wolves are, unfortunately, still around. Alcide is strolling around bars, talking to his father, and looking for Sam and Emma. We don’t see much of Sam and Emma in this episode but we see enough of them for them to be spotted by Alcide’s dad. Are they in danger? With an upcoming episode titled “Funeral” I’m just nervous for all the characters.

If I Can’t Have You, No Vampire Can

Sarah looks much better this week. Her hair isn’t that high. She’s having a bad day with her wrinkly boyfriend and gives Jason a visit. She wants to “save him” from himself. But what this really translates to is… she wants some of that. No one blames her. I don’t. After she gets some, Jessica shows up, still high and distraught. Sarah is pissed that Jason has been with a vampire and calls the cops to haul Jessica away to the vampire camp. Another one bites the dust?

In what I assume is a foolish attempt to help his friends, Jason tries to be recruited into the vampire police force. Not sure having someone on the inside is a great idea. He would be massively outnumbered and again I am worried for one of my faves.

Gladiator

In the vampire research camp, Eric and Tara are getting used to their new digs. Eric is put in a room with 3 other vampires to see who the best one is in a game of speed and wits. Eric, naturally, wins and the others are killed. These guys aren’t playing around.

Pam is in therapy, being forced to talk about her feelings and it’s going to bite her in the ass by the end of the episode. With the help of Steve Newlin’s intel (oh no. I’m worried), Sarah and the Governor put Pam and Eric in a gladiator style situation. Basically, they want the duo to fight to the death now that they know their relationship. Eric, who is stunned the governor threw his daughter away, has no idea how pissed Pam is going to be.

I Wanna Do Bad Things With You

In a last ditch effort to find out the truth, Sookie turns to Lafayette, not only give him a purpose in this new season, but for help contacting her parents. He has some trouble at first, apparently they’re a tricky couple to get a hold of, but he manages. Sookie is able to learn that what Warlow is saying is true. Sookie’s father wanted to kill her to protect her from Warlow’s intentions of turning her into a vampire.

Sookie’s father then possesses Lafayette and it’s about to get real. He is not happy that his daughter hasn’t seen the light and before you know it, Stackhouse-Lafayette is throwing Sookie in the trunk. They head down to the lake and the episode ends as Lafayette attempts to drown her. Ugh!

Funniest Quotes of the Night:

Sookie: I’d be real careful what you say right now because I have a vampire killin’ ball of light behind your head and I’m not afraid to use it.

Sarah: You have defiled me with your vampire loving pecker.

Sarah: When a woman comes to you in black lingerie, you unwrap her.

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